thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
