I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
