he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
