just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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