Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
