He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
