I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
