I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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