She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
