I wanna bring you to show and tell
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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