I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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