haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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