Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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