TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I didn't notice because vodka
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
