I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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