youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
