Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
