Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
