I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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