it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
