You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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