Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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