Having a random hookup so left but love u
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
