im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
