Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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