last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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