On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
