Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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