I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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