Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
