hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
