u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
