What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
love makes seman taste better
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
