apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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