At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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