Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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