I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
