she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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