it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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