dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i barfeds in our rink
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
