it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
