why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
