I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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