Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
