so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize