I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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