you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize