my sisters under your porch take her home
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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