How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
