FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
