i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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