I'm pants shitting drunk right now
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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