Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
