Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Verdict: uncircumcised.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize