i don't like sucking hair
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
