Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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