i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
