who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
