I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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