He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
